Tossed LP

Light On

So I don’t wanna kiss you with the light on with the light on

‘Cause in the dark the blackest parts of my heart feel at home

It’s been a long long time since twenty two

And ‘bout the same time that I stopped loving you

Painting bodies in the summer, sculpted by the land

Oh tell me what the hell’s a girl supposed to do

‘Cause I could never wrap my head around the things you saw in me

I just wrapped my arms around you in relief

And you named me as an artform, claimed me as a muse

And I just laughed and gave away my unbelief

So I don’t wanna kiss you with the light on with the light on

‘Cause in the dark the blackest parts of my heart feel at home

So I don’t wanna kiss you with the light on with the light on

‘Cause in the dark the blackest parts of my heart feel at home

You said hey there darlin, I just turned away

As if I didn’t notice all the perfect things you say

‘Cause you were shining lights and I was always pulling shades

‘Cause some things they don’t look the same

in the light of day

And wherever life may find you

Whoever loves you right

Well I hope she radiates the room with light

But please remember me a painting

Immortalized and true

Keep my silhouette a fixture of the night

Gettin Around To It

I wear an analog watch on my wrist

It hasn’t told me the time since 2016

But I love the way you look at me

When it’s clear you think

That I’ll be gettin around to it

I’m always searching for seeds that I can sow

Am I a gardener if I can’t make things grow

And these weeds keep coming for all I own

And I should pull them but I know I ain’t gettin around to it

Oh gettin around to it

When I told you I was lonely

You looked me in the eye

And said that you would leave me alone

When you told me that you loved me

Babe I couldn’t speak

And I must admit

I ain’t gettin around to it

I got a little kid under my skin

I came a knocking but she won’t let me in

And she’s got her fists around my heart

And she could pull them apart

But I doubt she gets around to it

Oh gettin around to it

When I told you I was lonely

You looked me in the eye

And said that you would leave me alone

When you told me that you loved me

Babe I couldn’t speak

And I must admit

I ain’t gettin around to it

Show me a single town

Where my eyelids close when the sun goes down

Paint me a different face

Won’t you give me someone else’s dream to chase

Show me a single town

Where my eyelids close when the sun goes down

Paint me a different face

And I’ll be gettin around to gettin out of this place

When I told you I was lonely

You looked me in the eye

And said that you would leave me alone

When you told me that you loved me

Babe I couldn’t speak

And I must admit

I ain’t gettin around to it

I Was Wondering

Honey, I ain't got time for you today

I’ve been wrestling with the world in a bad, bad way

And I don’t know if I can get back down to where you are

Honey, yours is a face that I’ve not seen

But I’ve been stubborn and afraid

Of all the messes I have made along the way

But I’ve been thinking I might like to be your lady

I think I might like you to be my man

‘Cause there are things I’ve held all to myself

And I was wondering

Would you hold them if you can

Honey, I ain’t got words for you today

And I know that lets you down

And that keeping me around might break your heart

Honey, sometimes the spring just takes awhile

But while the winter’s blowing cold

Every day I’m getting bolder by the mile

But I’ve been thinking I might like to be your lady

I think I might like you to be my man

‘Cause there are things I’ve held all to myself

And I was wondering

Would you hold them if you can

Don’t you ever think I’m tired of you

I’m just tired of everything

I have never lost my fire for you

I set fire to everything

But I’ve been thinking I might like to be your lady

I think I might like you to be my man

‘Cause there are things I’ve held all to myself

And I was wondering

Would you hold them if you can

Desert Rose

I saw you first

You didn’t notice me

I didn’t mind

I was just wandering

Out in the fields

Away from my misery

There you enlisted me

Into your mystery

She is the sunrise

Oh isn’t that what you said

I played it over and over and over

As I lay in bed

But I am a stone

Washed on the shore

Just one in a million

And nothing more

So honey I don’t wanna know her

Don’t wanna lock eyes with the enemy

Don’t want her to see what’s inside of me

When I look at you

And honey board up all the windows

Paint this house black like the log in my eye

Ain’t hopin’ for much, and damned if I’ll try

So I don’t wanna know her

Was it a daydream

Oh the way that you laughed

How your eyes flickered with light

Before they turned to ash

Like a desert rose

Or a fleeting mirage

I’m chasing the memory

Of a town that never was

And when you’re holding her closely

Oh be good to my heart

If I can’t have the whole

Don’t offer me part

Don’t ask me to stay

Inside of your smile

Just roll down the windows

And don’t speak for a little while

‘Cause honey I don’t wanna know her

Don’t wanna lock eyes with the enemy

Don’t want her to see what’s inside of me

When I look at you

And honey board up all the windows

Paint this house black like the log in my eye

Ain’t hopin’ for much, and damned if I’ll try

So I don’t wanna know her

So sing to me softly

Oh any tune that you know

And I’ll pretend the melody is mine

And mine alone

But I can’t find the key

And the chords come out wrong

And you fade into memory

Like a childhood song

Weak Days

What is in a day, when it all goes bad

Does it draw me in or make me turn my back

Does it whisper all that I forgot to ask

Oh what is in a day

And I’ll say Hallelujah

I’m alive on a Tuesday

And I’m tired, and I’m grieving

But I’m fine, and I’m breathing

And my breath is a student

Of the truth I’m pursuing

And I love how it shapes me

And I’ll go where it takes me

I will never say the wrong thing twice

But I will never say the right thing right

Just a deer in the headlights

Silenced by fright

Oh I will never get it right

And I’ll say Hallelujah

I’m on fire on a Friday

And I’m fueled, but I’m patient

And I’m formed, but I’m nascent

And my fire is a student

Of the earth and her movements

And I’ll bend when it breaks me

And I’ll go where it takes me

And it’s hard to be human

With this heart I’ve been given

All this beauty I’ve tasted

All these moments I’ve wasted

What is in a day, when your heart’s no good

And they’ve run every test they said would

And they found that you’re just misunderstood

Oh what if your heart’s no good

And I’ll say Hallelujah

I’m in love on a Sunday

And I’m trying to be holy

But I get so damn distracted

And my love is a student

Of mistakes I’ve been choosing

And I’ll stir when it wakes me

And I’ll go where it takes me

And it’s hard to be human

With this heart I’ve been given

All this beauty I’ve tasted

All these moments I’ve wasted

Daydreaming

I’m sorry I did not answer your question

I was busy writing my eulogy

I used all the best lines and told little white lies

And I wondered if you’d ever think of me

I’m sorry I missed that highway exit

I was busy thinking ‘bout babies

The ones that I have not held since Thanksgiving

The distance is starting to wreck me

And I think and I wonder

Will they grow tall

While I’m at the end of a long-distance call

And you’re making all of your plans for the fall

But I am not listening

‘Cause I am daydreaming

I am daydreaming

Oh I don’t always know where my mind tends to go

But I’ll follow it down to the end of the road

I’m sorry I did not make that appointment

I was busy writing a symphony

I heard every part under cover of dark

I don’t think you’ll be seeing that much of me

I’m sorry I did not pick up when you called

I was busy trying to reach you

In a faraway time zone where only my mind goes

And the connection is always true

And I think and I wonder

Is it really so

That love is a country where I will not go

And you’re sending messages about the show

And I will not read them

‘Cause I am daydreaming

I am daydreaming

Oh I don’t always know where my mind tends to go

But I’ll follow it down to the end of the road

Tossed

Touched down in San Diego

I never really minded flying

But this time it was different

I got the news you might be dying

Hit a bar down in the Gaslamp

With some faces that I met

Making friendly conversation

Anything to just forget

So I woke up when the dawn broke

I met a stranger at the boardwalk

He asked me are you ok

Said be careful and he drove off

Well I’ve always been a good one

I never strayed outside the lines

But I’m in San Diego

Trying to leave it all behind

So I took off down the highway

While the house was sleeping sound

Threw myself into the ocean

Trying to find what I had found

But the sea she keeps a tally

Of the battles I have lost

So I struggled for a moment

‘Fore I let myself get tossed

And as I tumbled to the bottom

I felt the ocean grip me tight

And the current like a tempest

Pulled me left and tore me right

And the undertow did take me

To the place where I belonged

That crystal cold and true Pacific

She gently whispered me her song

And my mother’s back in Portland

With a needle every Friday

And I’m in San Diego

Burning rubber on the highway

Oh sister San Diego

Would you welcome me today

I ain’t got that much to give you

I ain’t got that much to say

‘Cause I can’t outdrive this feeling

Oh that everything has changed

What was once a nighttime shadow

Oh it covers all my days

So if you come upon me someday

And my spirit isn’t right

If my prayers have all grown shallow

And I’m turning in the night

And you ask me where I come from

Oh and where it all went south

I'll whisper San Diego

The only words left in my mouth

Big Yellow Moon

Everywhere that I go, I’m from somewhere else

Can’t you see in the way that I bend my mouth

Can’t you see in the way that I carry myself

It’s ok, I don’t mind

I’ve got hearts that beat for me in different time zones

And I know that I’m doing pretty well

But that big yellow moon in December

On the back cove I remember

The same one I would ride my bicycle ‘round

I used to pedal fast as I could

With my mother trailing on foot

But close enough that I was safe and sound

Everyone that I see’s either staying or leaving

From city limits or the things we believed in

Honey I know you’ve got your good reasons

It’s ok, I’ve got mine

I got hang ups I’ve been harboring inside

And all the while hoping they’re just here for a season

But that big yellow moon in December

On the back cove I remember

My father on the bridge in the pale pink light

As I asked him all that he knew

In the way the daughters do

And I prayed to God that I would get it right

Oh you know just what they say

That there’s magic in the bay

The tide comes in and washes sorrows past

But I have never known such love

As that yellow moon above

When it whispered things that I had not asked

So if you ask me where I’ll go

I’ll just smile ‘cause I know

There’s a yellow moon that’s come to take me home

Mystic

Am I a mystic

Or am I a missing person

Am I good, am I grown

Oh my God am I alone

And did I love you

Or did I leave you

Did I grieve you

Did I

Am I a conscience

Or a consequence of context

Am I wrong, am I raw

Does my body break the law

And did I teach you

Or did I tease you

Did I please you

Did I

Am I a sister

Or a symptom of a system

Am I shrewd, am I sure

Did I rap upon the door

And did I heed you

Or did I lead you

Did I need you

Did I

Am I a mystic

Or am I a missing person

Is it God that we've found

In our temples on the ground

And did I love you

Did I love you

Did I